3rd of April 2007

Look at that
Glass in front of me
And the time
To check
Four fifty three
French radio at the bar
And the sun falling
A little warmer
Though bitten
From warring with the wind
Than yesterday
At this same time
Where I was
Somewhere else
A little less clearer
Than I am today

I’m more confident
A meeting with an Englishmen
Who helped resolve
A few doubts
About my position
My Englishness
Here
As a plus
Rather than a negative

Looking at this glass
And thinking about the beer
I wasn’t enjoying it
So I thought
Well
Why ever not?
And that’s when I looked at it
And thought
Why?
And how is it that I go about liking it
When everything’s so fair

Okay
Of course there’s my new French mobile
That costs too much
Christina keeps saying that
“I told you so”
But
And I’ve looked in the window
At another that is so much better
And I have a sim for it
One I bought earlier
Another mistake
Thinking that my English phone
Would accommodate
But I was wrong about that too
I can chip it though
Christina says
More Euro

I’m mad with money
No real sense for it
Feel the walls closing in sometimes
And recently I’ve been
More attentive
To calculations
To orientate
Calm
Positioned
Navigated
That’s all it is I’m sure
About life
A little awareness
Checked against lights and horizons
Rises and falls
In preparation
For it all

The glass is almost finished now
And Gabriel
Still hasn’t called
On the mobile
Using the SFR network
That’s costing me so much
Or
Is it just
As the guy said in the shop where I bought it
“The usual price”
Or
Maybe just that
As a very cheap phone
I get a very bad deal

When I spoke to Yozke
About this
He said
(In response to how much time
I tend to stay on calls)
That
And he didn’t say it directly
I suggested it
That
Yes
I should be keeping my calls shorter
It’s because I haven’t been paying
It’s like his shelves
And how dusty they are
Because before
Growing up
He always had a cleaner
To do it for him